Casual Dating 101
In today’s fast-paced life, rarely does one have time to commit to a serious relationship. Most of the people are also emotionally drained or manipulated by social media norms that they don’t know what or who they want anymore. That’s where casual dating comes along. You get to hang out with a super hot girl that is great in bed but still be able to flirt with other girls. You can go out on fun dates, but there’s no need for you to check in constantly and meet each other's families. It sounds great, but what exactly is casual dating?
What is Casual Dating?
Casual dating is almost always confused with a booty call or friends with benefits. And while the premise is initially sexual, casual dating isn’t just about the devil’s tango. Unlike booty calls, you’ll be able to go out with your partner for a drink or a nice dinner. But unlike friends with benefits, there’s no need for sending funny memes and cute puppy photos. While it may sound like a relationship, casual dating lacks the commitment of a serious relationship. If it’s made clear on both ends, it can also help individuals get better at it and find out what they want in life in the long term.
Some people like the idea of having someone to talk to from time to time, go for drinks, have sex but simply don’t have the time or the energy to commit to someone. With casual dating, you are keeping your options open and both of you can date and see other people as you’re not exclusive. Do not confuse this with an affair though as you should always know if the person is married or is in a serious relationship as this will save you a lot of headaches, believe us!
Be open about it
Casual dating isn’t for everyone and that’s ok. There are people who get too emotionally invested, even in short flings, and end up hurt in the process. It’s good to be on the same page with your partner and be open about only seeking casual dating. Casual dating should be two-way so don’t be a dick and only casually date a girl who thinks you’re in a serious relationship.
Being open about not wanting to commit and being on the same page with your partner is not only a sensible thing to do but will save you from a lot of trouble. You don’t want to hurt a girl’s feelings just because you weren’t able to be open and upfront about it. On the other hand, you wouldn’t want to get your feelings hurt either, do you?
Can you both handle it?
An important aspect to think about is will you be able to handle it? Imagine you think you’re ok with it and then feel hurt when you see your casual partner out on a date with another guy. This is what casual dating is and both partners need to be ok with it. You meet a girl, she’s cool, funny, attractive but she’s not ready for a serious relationship. Don’t compromise and pretend you’re ok with casual dating if you’re not.
The same goes for the other party. If you notice that your partner is getting too clingy, starts talking about kids, getting married, wants to introduce you to her friends and family, gets jealous… Maybe it’s time to put the brakes, of course, unless you’ve developed feelings too. If you continue even long after you’ve noticed that your partner isn’t into casual dating anymore, you’ll hurt their feelings. And casual dating should be fun and exciting, not painful and sad.
Of course, communication is key in every relationship, no matter if it’s romantic or not. In casual dating, communication is even more important as the two of you need to be on the same page always. Before engaging in the thrill that is casual dating, you might want to sit down and establish some ground rules. Will you go out in public? Will you tell your friends? When can you contact each other? How many times a week are you going to see each other?
All of these, and more, questions need to be asked and answered and serve as rules for your relationship onwards. You might want to also talk about things like social media, PDA and most importantly seeing other people. Setting the ground rules early on, leaves little to no room for misunderstanding on both ends, and sticking to them, keeps the relationship casual.
Respect should be a given in any type of relationship, casual or serious. Yes, this is not a serious relationship and this is not the person you’ll be seeing long term, but you still need to treat them with respect, as you would expect to be treated. No expectations or commitment needed, just you being a decent human being.
This means also to respect the boundaries that have been set previously. Respect each other's privacy, free time, and personal space. Without respect, things will quickly boil over, tears will fall, words will be said and it will all just crash and burn.
Don’t be too showy
When we say don’t be too showy, we don’t mean you need to approach this as a top-secret affair and pretend you don’t know each other in public. Be flirty, have fun in public but keep the PDA for behind closed doors. You never know who you might run into and you never know when you might meet a girl you’ve gone on a date with. Imagine it’s the type of girl you’d want to try a serious relationship with and she sees you being cozy with another girl. Boy, not even god will be able to help you out with that!
Or even better, imagine your overbearing grandma that pesters you about getting married sees you with this girl, whose grandparents just happen to have gone to school with your granny? Before long, you’ll find yourself living in suburbia, married with three children and a dog that gets more action than you. While being discreet about it, lets you have fun in public without the stress of anyone getting the wrong idea. You’re just out and about, enjoying a drink with a friend that happens to be a female.
This should go without saying but you need to use protection and be safe. The part about casual dating is that the general premise is sexual. Being able to date and see other people means that your chances of contracting an STD are very high at this point. Not only are you seeing other people but your partner is also seeing other people and those people are probably seeing other people and if you do the math that’s a lot of people’s bodily fluids.
Not only that but there’s also the risk of a pregnancy, which if you’re dating casually, won’t work for either of you. So the best you could do is protect yourself by using a condom. It’s good to also talk about that in the beginning and practice safe sex, always!
Have fun but know when to stop
The beauty of casual dating is that you get to explore what works for you and what doesn’t, learn new things about relationships and sex, and get better at it for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You also get to meet new people and explore new ideas and concepts and that in itself is very fun and exciting. Use your casual relationship to learn more about yourself and about the opposite sex.
But that being said, it’s also important to recognize and leave when it stops being fun. Casual dating can turn boring very quickly and many men don’t realize it either because they’re too lazy or because they’ve found a comfort zone. Either way, it’s best to part on amicable terms like adults rather than have a messy break up in a relationship that wasn’t serious in the first place.
There’s a possibility that it could in a completely different direction though. You might find yourself falling for the other person, or perhaps they have developed deeper feelings for you. This is nothing to be ashamed about and you should be honest with the other person about your intentions to make sure you are on the same page. You might find yourself dreaming about a house with a white picket fence and a lab puppy while your partner about getting a PhD in Science before settling down. That’s why it’s important to recognize when you want things to go to the next level and communicate with your partner about it.